Oh My Word!

Last month, while my in-laws were in town for a visit, we went out to dinner.  The restaurant, although kid friendly, was a pretty nice place.  We sat down for what we expected to be a nice chat.  Instead, our evening was filled with the screams (yes screams!) of a child at the table next to ours.  We literally could not hear each other talk.  It was that loud.  And I don't mean just a minute or two.  It went on for a good 20 minutes or so.  Why was he screaming, you ask?  Because his parents wanted him to eat and he wanted to play with his Dad's Blackberry.

Most parents, after a minute or two, would take the child out to the car and reprimand him.  What did this kids parent's do?  Nothing.  They just let him scream.  They decided to just ignore him.  Before we had a chance to do so, two of the tables in our area asked to be moved.  By the time we realized it wasn't going to stop, our food was there and they had no where else to seat us.  And still the kid screamed.

Seeing our annoyed faces and the two other tables that had obviously moved because of their child, they finally gave in to his demands.  Basically the child pouted, kicked and screamed until he got his way, rewarded for his bad behavior by getting what he wanted.  Great lesson to teach your kids!  If you act like a complete moron you will eventually get your way.  I don't pretend to know everything about child-rearing.  I'm new at it and I know I have a lot to learn.  But shouldn't bad behavior have a punishment and good behavior be praised?  I know!  That's just crazy talk.

Yes, our meal was scream free from that point forward.  But we were so thoroughly disgusted, not only by the child but the parents, that it was hard to enjoy it.  Yes, the parents apologized after our dinner was consumed and we were on our way out.  But it was a little too little, little too late in our opinion.

Now I don't want people to think I'm a noise prude.  I came from a family of 6 kids.  I have 7 nieces and nephews and a child of my own.  I'm no stranger to noise and I get that kids act up sometimes.  But this was so beyond acceptable.  On our way home, my hubby and I were discussing how our parents would have reacted and how we would react in that same situation.  I'll spare you the details.  But let me just say that if it was my child, I hope that I wouldn't be that inconsiderate of the world around me and we plan to act accordingly.

It all comes down to something I've been thinking a lot about over the last year or so.  We are living in the Age of Entitlement.  This is why there are so many kids out there that think the world owes them something.  They aren't learning to work hard because, win or lose, they get a trophy just for showing up.  Parents threaten and threaten but never follow through with the punishment.  But instead reward the bad behavior to get them to shut up.  When asked to do something, they ask, "Why?"  Or "What will you give me?"  When I was growing up, my parents gave us certain chores to do that we were expected to do without pay.  Our way of earning our keep.  If we wanted to earn money, they had a box with 3X5 note cards in it with additional jobs we could do and how much it would pay.  We are planning on doing something similar with our kids as well. 

I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember.  But now that I am one, I worry about whether or not I will be a good Mom.  I read all the time about how to be a good parent.  The "How To's".  But sometimes it creates more questions than solutions.  How do you teach a kid to not expect the world for nothing?  How do you teach a child to be grateful and not selfish?  How do you teach your child to be respectful of others?  How do you reward a kid for good behavior without spoiling them or getting them to expect a reward every time they do something good?  I read this article recently that I thought was pretty good.  I don't believe I will follow all it says but it has some good points.

I know from experience that being a parent is hard work.  It's the hardest job I've ever had.  But it is also so rewarding.  There is nothing sweeter in the world than walking in a room and seeing your child's face light up when they see you.  I'm sure I will figure things out.  Hopefully without doing too much damage. ;]  Luckily I have the sweetest little gal in the world who is so patient with me.  Her hugs and smiles make the world a better place.  How lucky am I!!